Section C:
Techniques of Irrelevance
0. No Technique
1. Appearance: Judging
someone based on the way they look
Example: That girl exchange student from
Denmark is really a sharp dresser. I’ll bet she’s smart, too.
2. Manner: Judging someone
based on the way that they act
Example: Melissa was bubbly and cool. She really handled those tough
questions with confidence. She is a much better candidate for the job than
Sally, who was nervous and jittery.
3. Degrees and Titles: Using
a degree or title of a speaker to impress the listeners
Example: “I like the perfect fit, the luxurious feel, and inner
warmth of my Brady’s Leather Jacket,” says Laura Stern, President of the
American Dog-Breeders Association.
4. Numbers: Using numbers
to make a point
Example: Ad:
“Use Galma-Mudd, the face cream preferred by eight out of ten women in the
Cleveland area.”
5. Status: Using someone
who is famous to endorse a product or support a position
Example: You should take 500 milligrams of vitamin C every day. The
Nobel Prize-winning chemist Linus Pauling recommended vitamin C to prevent and
cure the common cold.
6. Repetition: Using the
same word, phrase or sound repeatedly to capture the attention of the listener
Example: Wool carpet has everything that a carpet should have. Wool
has a natural bounce in every fiber. Wool carpet has lasting beauty. Wool
carpet has lasting color. Wool carpet resists flame. Wool carpet cleans easily.
The answer is WOOL.
7. Slogans: Using a short,
catchy phrase or sentence designed to be easily remembered by the general
public
Example: Ad:
“Open your mind to the world. Select Netscape software for complete and total
access to the entire World Wide Web.”
8. Technical Jargon: Using
technical language to impress or confuse the listener
Example: Ad: “This new dress from Janis Kaye’s Originals contains a
new fabric, dureneum, which keeps the cloth from shrinking and resists dirt.
9. Sophistical Formula: Using
an old saying or cliché as the main point in an argument
Example: Let’s not give up. True, we have tried everything. We have
telephoned; we have knocked on his door; we have written to him. And we have
not yet received a cent from him. But “where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
